Emotional Baggage - Time to Unpack
- Christine Lusk
- Oct 27
- 6 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
It's Guest Blog Time!
We are fooling ourselves if we believe that the only baggage we carry from post to post is what we store in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of us. Emotional baggage has long been something to be ashamed of, because only a 'disturbed' or 'crazy' person was incapable of handling the challenges of life. The fact is emotional baggage serves a purpose, the hard part is learning how to turn it into tools for life and let go of the baggage itself. To do that requires self-awareness, self-reflection, and professional support.
The great news is that we now know this about emotional baggage, and that respecting mental health is as important as any regular healthcare we prioritize like an annual check-up or routine dental cleanings. The even better news is there are professionals like Angi Solley of Teenlines.com that can help our teens navigate some of their most critical years for development. Learning at a young age how to process traumatic events to avoid packing them up for life is an invaluable skill.
Angi's work and her dedication to teen mental health is a great addition to our guest blog roster. We are delighted that she took time to write a thoughtful piece for our community.
Guest Blog by Angi Bright
We all know that teens carry their own baggage. You know how when you’re at the airport, you can look around and see all different types of people carrying their backpacks, lugging heavy roller bags, or hulking under three duffle bags at once. I often use this image as visual representation of our emotional baggage. As humans on this earth, we experience a lot of emotions and this is something that isn’t always visible or obvious to those around us.
As expats we have a lot of transitions built into our lifestyle. In my own experience I have moved from Baku, Azerbaijan to Vientiane, Laos as a family of six and I have gone through all the hurdles entangled in that type of change.
There is no way to smooth out all the bumps that life will throw at us. There are plenty of ways to manage the stress and discomfort in dealing with the emotional challenges. Let’s look at a few of them.
Don't get lost in future thinking
Don’t get lost in future thinking. This one applies to teens and adults. Have you ever gotten caught up in an expectation for a future event that is coming up soon on your schedule. Especially as we move around the world, new beginnings are perpetually around the corner and we spend a lot of time planning for that.
One example is when you have a series of flights to catch and a long day of travel ahead and you are dreading this. You might imagine kids having meltdowns while strapped in for a thirteen hour flight. You could be reading over your itinerary and wondering if there will be enough time to make your transfer in Frankfurt. Perhaps you are thinking that it will be hard to secure two vehicles to transport all your luggage and pets to your new location. Here you are, sitting comfortably and yet somehow…your mind is already ten steps ahead and experiencing all the stress of the future happening in your imagination.
PRO-TIP: Avoid getting stuck in the bad vibes before they even happen.
How quickly this can happen. Our mind has the ability to churn up all sorts of stress and anxiety over future events before they even happen. While all of this could quite possibly turn out to be true, it simply doesn’t help us to prepare by stressing-out ahead of time. When you feel yourself spinning into future-thinking you can silently remind yourself of this: All of this could happen and be very challenging, but for right now I’m here and there is also a chance that things will go better than expected on our travel day. I have managed to overcome a great deal of hardships in my life and I’m sure I can handle whatever comes up on that day but for now, I’m not there yet and life is unpredictable.
While there is a chance that your travel day will be riddled with upsets…there is also the chance that you’ll come across a tasty pretzel and a free coffee station or kids will find themselves excited about a new game they downloaded that day. Weird things happen…in both positive and challenging directions. Don’t get yourself stuck in the bad vibes before they even happen.
Acknowledge your feelings, even if you want to avoid them
This one is simple, don’t avoid your difficult emotions. When you’re feeling pretty awful…let yourself feel the awfulness. Often, we want to avoid our feelings and say something along the lines of ‘It’s fine, I can ignore this and just focus on work.’
Try doing the opposite. When you are feeling something difficult, see if you can take a few minutes to yourself to fully experience that feeling. It might look something like this: I feel really rotten today. I just don’t feel like myself. I feel unmotivated. How would I describe this more specifically? I think I want to throw myself under the covers and cry. If I want to cry it probably means I’m sad or overwhelmed. I can tell because I feel more sluggish and the back of my neck feels tight. I think I can tell when this comes up for me because it shows up in my neck. Maybe I do need a good cry. It’s probably because of that talk I had with that important person in my life yesterday. That makes sense. It’s ok to feel sad. That’s part of life. I can respect that I’m going to carry some sadness today. This is what self-awareness looks like. Ok, now I’ve got to get back to work but I’m glad I took a few minutes to check-in and be honest with myself about how I really am feeling today. I recognize that this sadness is probably going to impact my day so I’ll keep that in mind.
PRO-TIP: Don't avoid your difficult emotions.
Setting a timer for 4-6 minutes to give yourself time to think about what you are feeling and having a little inner monologue for yourself can give your emotional brain real acknowledgement and often this can free up space for re-focusing on what you are doing.
Focus on what you have accomplished
On those days when you (or your teen) is feeling like an unproductive loser (let’s be real…it happens to all of us!). See if you can make a mental or written list of what you have accomplished. This can be the simplest of things. Start with the basics. For instance; Today I took a shower. I responded to my friends text and didn’t leave them unseen. I made myself breakfast. I took the dog for a walk. I had an idea about what I want to do this weekend. I started writing my essay, etc. If your teen is reluctant you can point out to them what you’ve seen them accomplish.
PRO-TIP: Make a mental or written list of what you accomplished to help build confidence.
When you set your focus on what you have completed, your mindset is able to shift away from all the dread and incomplete things that are taking up headspace. If you can find the ability to switch your thinking into a satisfied-with-accomplishments-zone, you may be able to find the willingness to take on the next task. Even if this exercise doesn’t spur you into action- when repeated often, it will help you build confidence in recognizing the work that you are accomplishing in your daily routines.
Angi Solley's Bio
Angi started out as a Human Services Counselor 25 years ago. Her EFM career path has led her to working as a Life Coach for teens and parents while moving around the globe. Angi can help teens implement healthy options to overcome self-harm, insecurity, anxiety and social challenges.
If you’d like to chat with Angi directly or set up weekly appointments for your teen to check in and focus on their own emotional wellness you can reach out to Angi directly at Teenlines.com.
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